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Abstract Guitars Come In 250 Bodyshapes
For several hundred extra we can build you a private model or shape
Adamantium
Gold-Tone Frets
A short bedtime story by Ed Roman
You can only tell it your children after you buy an Ed Roman Guitar
!!!
Maybe if you tell it to your wife, She will give you her permission to
buy one.
The story of the Adamantium Gold-tone Frets is a closely
guarded secret. Ed Roman literally had to break into the 4th
underground level of the Pentagon to acquire the chemical compound
formula. He then had to construct a time machine to go back to the
40's to spy on it's inventor metallurgist Dr. Myron MacLain. Roman was
obsessed to find out the secret of keeping the process of
manufacturing stable enough to avoid destroying the planet into a
cataclysmic vapor cloud.
Roman surmised If he destroyed the planet, there would have
been no customers left to purchase his guitars. He would have gone
broke & died in the poor house!!!!
To gain the necessary components he
had to build a starship and travel 400,000 light years to the distant
reaches of the Pulsar Galaxy to get enough raw materiel to build frets for his Abstract Guitar line. To do this in one lifetime he
was forced to design the now famous
"Abstract Equation"
which he evolved from the
Dymaxion Dynasty of ancient Egypt.
Simply put the
"Abstract Equation" creates a slight
time shift in the universe allowing a network of black holes to open
and shut in varying high speed sequences. This allows the traveler to
travel incredible distances and actually get there before he left. To
acquire a map of these endless pathways Ed had to use the time machine
one more time and go back to ancient Greece, He had to scale Mount
Olympus and gain an audience with Zeus, Using his incredible
salesmanship and persuasive gift of gab. Ed Roman actually conned it
out of Zeus, He promised to give Zeus the Golden Fleece, This was to
the amazement of his wife Hera who said it was probably a Golden
Fleecing !!!! She was just about to put a curse on Ed but he quickly
parasailed off the top of Mount Olympus thereby avoiding her screams,
vile epithets and of course the deadly curse.
The Definition of Adamantium
The McGonigle dictionary
Adamantium is a virtually indestructible man-made
steel alloy which does not occur in nature and whose exact chemical
composition is a United States government classified secret.
Adamantium is not an element: its properties do not qualify it for any
known space on the Periodic Table of Elements. Rather, Adamantium is a
series of closely related compounds of iron created through a secret
process discovered by the American metallurgist Dr. Myron MacLain.
MacLain began experimenting with the process that
created Adamantium as a young scientist in the employ of the United
States government in the early 1940s. Assigned to create a super-metal
with which to build tanks, MacLain labored for months, experimenting
with various iron alloys. One of his experiments utilized the rare
meteoric ore now known as Wakandan Vibranium. He tried to fuse the
Vibranium to the iron alloy numerous times without success. Then one
night when he dozed off, some as yet unknown factor entered the
process, and permitted the fusion to occur. Upon discovering his
success, MacLain poured the molten metal into a disc-shaped mold. The
disc, once solidified, has proven to be the most impervious object
ever created on Earth. MacLain turned the discovery over to the
government and it was given to Captain America to use as his shield.
Neither MacLain nor anyone else has ever been able to discover what
was the x-factor that entered the process, or has been able to fuse
Vibranium with another metal. (The unknown iron-Vibranium alloy of
which the shield is composed resembles True Adamantium, although
Adamantium itself contains no Vibranium,)
Over the following decades MacLain experimented,
attempting to duplicate the process that create the shield. Finally,
in recent years, he succeeded in developing the process by which the
substance known as True Adamantium is created. True Adamantium is
nearly as strong as Captain America's shield, and is, for all
practical purpose, indestructible. The degree of impermeability varies
directly with the thickness of the Adamantium. A direct blow from
Thor's hammer, conveyed with the thunder god's full strength, will
slightly dent a solid cylinder of True Adamantium. A sufficient mass
of Adamantium could survive a direct hit from a nuclear weapon.
 Adamantium is created through the mixing of certain
chemical resins whose composition is a United States government
secret. For eight minutes after the resins are mixed, the Adamantium
can be molded into a particular shape as long as it is kept at a
temperature of 1,500 degrees Fahrenheit. After this brief period the
process of creating Adamantium is completed. The extremely stable
molecular structure of the Adamantium prevents it from being molded
further, even if the temperature remains high enough to keep it in
liquefied form. Only a device called a Molecular Rearranger can alter
the form of hardened Adamantium.
The United States government has shared the secret
of Adamantium's composition with certain of its allies, and the secret
has also fallen into the hands of various criminals, such as the
Constrictor, who has made special weaponry from Adamantium. Wolverine
possesses artificial claws made of True Adamantium and his bones have
been fused with Adamantium in an unexplained manner so as to greatly
increase their tensile strength. The outer portion of the robotic body
of Ultron is also composed entirely of True Adamantium, although
Ultron's inner mechanisms are not.
Adamantium is extraordinarily expensive to produce.
Therefore, certain parties who wish to use Adamantium on a large scale
have resorted to utilizing a similar but somewhat weaker compound
similar to True Adamantium called Secondary Adamantium. Although
Secondary Adamantium is still far stronger than even titanium steel,
it can be destroyed by sufficiently great amounts of force. Blastaar's
energy discharges and the vibratory force created by the Overkill Horn
have both proved able to destroy Secondary Adamantium. The sentient
computer known as F.A.U.S.T. had a casing made of Secondary Adamantium
which Thor and Iron Man managed to destroy. The Red Skull and the
original Hate-Monger had a dome of Secondary Adamantium constructed to
protect their island fortress but the dome was destroyed by the
vibratory force of the Overkill Horn and by powerful incendiary bombs.
Ed Roman & his small band of merry men & crazed
luthiers in their insane search for the most indestructible metal in
the universe finally succeeded where all others had failed.
And They All Lived Happily Ever
After.
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